How Do You Know if Therapy is Working? 6 Signs Therapy is Helping
So you've decided to start therapy. You are incredible; Congratulations! Making the decision to get help is the first step on the road to a better you. For some, it is truly the hardest part of the process.
Like so many, you probably wonder how you know if therapy is working. It's a valid question, and it can be tough to assess sometimes. After all, how can you tell if all those hours (and dollars) spent in session with Dr Mark are actually doing any good? Well, wonder no more! In this blog post, we'll discuss six signs that therapy is truly helping you reach your goals and live a more fulfilling life. Keep reading to find out more!
What is success in therapy?
Success in therapy manifests differently for everyone. How cool is that? The therapeutic space is meant for exploration and growth, and that certainly isn’t cookie cutter.
For some, it can look like going to Mom’s house for dinner without fighting with her. Maybe this took months of working through anger and resentment with your therapist while practicing coping skills daily. For others, it can sound like laughter again after 8 months of grieving the loss of your partner when for weeks you couldn’t say their name aloud. Sobbing in session with your therapist for the first 10 weeks was probably necessary, and a first session without tears may be a total win.
"The journey of self development is unique” says Jaclyn Borgia, Founder + Licensed Professional Counselor. “You are the expert on you, and together with your trusted therapist, you can measure success in ways that make sense to you based on what’s happening in life and what you think needs to change.”
Therapy takes time
Simple as that. It takes what it takes, sometimes weeks, months, and years to experience the results you want. This is normal, and it’s totally up to you. Healing takes time given your effort to heal, and there's no such thing as an instant fix. If you find yourself feeling better after just a few sessions, that's great! You need to keep up the good work to maintain the desired effects. Long term success requires consistency and dedication, and your therapist can remind you of that when you’re losing steam and discouraged.
You're doing the work
In order to get better, you have to do the work. This means showing up to your sessions, being honest with your therapist, and doing the homework they assign you. If you're not putting in the effort, it's going to be tough to see results. “No pain no gain,” remember that phrase? It’s true: if you do the work, something will change.
With that said, here are six signs that therapy is helping you get better:
1. You're feeling more motivated to make changes in your life
If therapy is working, you should start to feel more motivated to make changes in your life. This could mean making lifestyle changes, such as eating healthier or exercising more. It could also mean working on your relationships or improving your career. Whatever it is, you should start to feel like change is possible.
Therapy can help you identify the areas of your life that you want to change and give you the tools to make those changes. If you're feeling stuck, therapy can help you get unstuck.
If you're not sure what changes you want to make, that's okay! Just being in therapy can be a major motivation boost. Spending time with someone who believes in your capability and strength can be just the push you need to get started.
If you're feeling more motivated and hopeful, it's a good sign that therapy is working for you.
2. You feel understood and trust your therapists
One of the most important aspects of therapy is feeling understood by your therapist. If you don't feel understood and really seen, it's going to be tough to open up and be vulnerable.
Trust is also essential for successful therapy. If you don't trust your therapist, you're not going to be honest with them about what's going on in your life. You won’t believe their praise and accept their genuine love and respect. You certainly won't receive constructive feedback and challenge with trust that it’s with love and care. This will make it difficult to make progress towards goals.
If you feel understood and trust your therapist, it's a good sign that therapy is working for you. Building that therapeutic alliance is crucial to you feeling safe and comfy enough to tell Dr Mark that you’re cheating on your partner. Together and without judgment, you can decide how to handle things, knowing Dr Mark has your back no matter what happens.
If you don't feel understood or trust your therapist, be willing to do something about it. Don't be afraid to speak up and ask for what you need from therapy. Your therapists should be open to feedback and willing to make changes if needed. If they're not, it might be time to find someone new.
3. You're starting to see your problems in a new light
If therapy is working, you should start to see your problems in a new light. This means you're able to step back and look at them from a different perspective.
For example, if you've been struggling with anxiety, therapy can help you see that your anxiety is actually trying to protect you. This new perspective can help you understand your anxiety and start to work on it more productively. Such a vantage point perhaps decreases shame, builds motivation, encourages action.
If you're not sure how to see your problems in a new light, that's okay! Just being in therapy can help you start to see things differently. When you trust your therapist, you may be willing to hear their opinions and suggestions. As you learn more about how your mind works with their guidance, it can be easier to start seeing life differently.
If you're not sure how therapy can help you see your problems in a new light, ask your therapist. They should be able to offer some insight or give you some examples. Don't worry if this takes some time. It's not easy to change the way we think, to rewire the brain. If you're patient and proactive, it will happen.
4. The people close to you have noticed a change in you
Whether it's friends, family members, or romantic partners, the people closest to us are often the first ones to notice changes in our behavior—both positive and negative ones!
If those folks are noticing changes in your mood or behavior (like increased patience or decreased arguments), it's likely due not just to changes in how you're behaving around them but also overall changes in how you're living your life outside of those relationships as well (thanks again, therapist!).
If you're not sure if the people close to you have noticed a change, ask them! They might be hesitant to bring it up. And also, your people will be happy to let you know how they've noticed your growth and cheer you on!
If the people close to you haven't noticed a change, that's okay too. Change can be slow, and it might take some time for the people around you to adjust. Just keep doing the work and trust that it will pay off eventually.
If you're not sure how to start a conversation about how therapy is going with the people close to you, talk to your therapist about it. They can help you figure out what to say and how to say it, even practice in session with you.
Remember, this is your tribe we’re talking about! These people are friends, coworkers, cousins, lovers, and they want you to succeed just as much as you do!
5. You're beginning to understand yourself better
One of the main goals of therapy is to help you gain self-awareness. As you talk about your life and experiences in therapy, you should start to notice patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. With this new insight, you can begin to make changes in your life that lead to more satisfaction and joy.
For example, if you've noticed that you're always putting others' needs before your own, you might start to work on setting boundaries in your relationships. Or if you realize that you're constantly second-guessing yourself, you might start working on building self-confidence.
If you're not sure how to gain self-awareness, ask your therapist for help. They can offer guidance and support as you explore your thoughts and feelings.
Don't worry if it takes some time to gain self-awareness. It's not always easy to see ourselves clearly, and therapy can help us get there.
6. You're beginning to enjoy life (maybe again)!
This one is pretty self-explanatory: if therapy is working, you should start to enjoy your life! If you've been struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, it's likely that you haven't been enjoying your life as much as you could be.
As you start to work through your issues in therapy, you should find that you're able to let things go more easily or advocate for yourself more effectively. You might start to feel more interested in your hobbies, spend more time with friends and family, or just generally feel happier overall.
Of course, there will still be tough days (that's just part of life!). If you're finding that the good days are starting to outnumber the bad, it's a good sign that therapy is working.
If you're not sure if therapy is working, ask yourself how you're feeling. If you're starting to enjoy your life again, it's a good sign that therapy is helping!
How to track your progress
If you're not sure how to tell if therapy is working, it can be helpful to track your progress.
You can do this in several ways, but one simple way is to keep a journal. Each week, write down how you've been feeling and what you've been working on in therapy. At the end of each month, look back and see how you've changed, in your own words.
If you're not a fan of journaling, you can also track your progress by rating your mood each day on a scale of 0-10. Or, you can keep track of how many days in a row you've been able to stick to your self-care routine. Measuring success is easier to do when you have recorded data to reference and learn from.
No matter how you choose to track your progress, the important thing is that you do it in a way that works for you. It allows for accountability and long term pride in your willingness and achievements.
If you're not sure how to track your progress, ask your therapist for guidance. They can help you come up with a plan that will work for you.
Final Thoughts
These six signs should give you some peace of mind that yes, indeed, therapy can be helpful! Trust the process and give yourself some time—changes usually don't happen overnight but with consistency and effort, progress will happen eventually.
If you're still not sure, talk to your therapist about it. They can help you figure out how to tell if therapy is working for you.
Remember, the goal of therapy is to help you reach goals, whatever that looks like to you. If you're starting to feel like that's possible again, it's a good sign that therapy is working!
If you're interested in trying online therapy, we offer a free 15-minute consultation. Click here to book a session!
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