Heal Your Inner Child & Take Control Of Your Life
We all have an inner child – that part of us that never really grows up, still feeling and reacting to life as if we were a kid. And if you’re like many people, your inner child has been through some tough times. Unprocessed childhood traumas can affect us in our adulthood, making it hard to live the life we want.
It’s time to take back control! Here at The Sassy Shrink, we understand how important it is for women to heal their inner children so they can move forward with confidence and courage into the lives they deserve.
That’s why today I’m going to talk about what inner child work is and give you my top tips on how you can start healing your own inner child right now! Channel your motivation to absorb this information, and let's get started!
What is inner child work?
Inner child work, also referred to as inner child healing, is the practice of reconnecting with our inner self and recognizing that it’s never too late to heal from past traumas. With hard work and support, you can integrate parts of yourself and heal wounds that you endured any time in your past.
It helps us explore our childhood experiences to make sense of how we feel now, and ultimately develop a healthier relationship with ourselves. This can involve looking at the impact of those experiences and how we can learn from them to let go of the pain.
Working on our inner child involves practicing self-reparenting to meet our unfulfilled needs. Such self-exploration helps us gain insights into our actions, triggers, wants, and needs.
Signs your inner child needs healing
You consistently feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed
You find yourself highly reactive to situations
You have trouble forming meaningful relationships
You struggle with low self-esteem
You can’t seem to trust anyone
You may be blaming yourself for things that are out of your control
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it may be a good time to start your inner child work.
10 Tips for healing your inner child
We can't go back in time, although we can make changes today to support our growth in adulthood. Here are some tips to start:
1. Connect with your inner child
To begin understanding the child within, we need to first be able to listen and communicate with them. You can do this through visualizations, journaling, or speaking out loud in the mirror if that helps.
What are their needs, fears, hopes, and dreams? Take some time to journal or draw about it. Let that little person inside express themselves, without judgment or a need for solution.
2. Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to feel seen
Often our inner child has been ignored for too long. We need to learn how to acknowledge and accept our emotions without judgment or fear, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
This is especially important if you find it difficult to express your feelings in words or even recognize what you’re feeling in the first place. It’s helpful to practice this with trusted loved ones and a quality therapist.
3. Write a letter to your inner child
Writing a letter to your inner child is an effective way of expressing your emotions and connecting with them. This can be done as part of your visualization or journaling practice. Whether in the notes app in your phone or traditional pen and paper, this allows for quick and easy reference whenever you need it.
You can write about childhood memories from your adult perspective or even things you would like to tell them now in hindsight. Part of the fun in journaling is the lack of rules. Let yourself say whatever comes to mind!
4. Nurture yourself
Practice self-care through activities that light you up like going for walks or reading a book. Doing things that make you feel awesome will help heal old wounds and open the way to new experiences.
Although this may feel funky, allow yourself to parent you. The little person inside who wants and needs will receive all of your love when you take the time to provide that care.
5. Give yourself unconditional love
Treat your inner child with the same respect and compassion that you would give a best friend or even a small child. Learn to forgive yourself, and practice positive affirmations of self-love and acceptance.
Our inner child needs attention, kindness, and love just as much as we do today. Self care and love are NECESSITIES in life. Showing yourself compassion can help heal old wounds and create a stronger relationship with yourself.
6. Create healthy boundaries
To foster a healthier relationship with your inner child, set limits on how much you take in from others. You can do this by setting boundaries for yourself and having the courage to uphold them.
This means saying NO when it best serves you. As a child, you didn’t have the power to make some decisions for yourself, some you might have said NO to if asked.
Wielding that power now as an adult looks like learning where your thresholds are and setting boundaries appropriately to protect yourself. Those who love you will meet these boundaries with total understanding and respect.
7. Visualize healing
Visualizations are powerful tools that can help you heal your inner child. Visualize yourself in a safe and loving environment with your inner child, giving them the attention and care they need. Guided meditations are quite helpful in practicing self love and care.
You can imagine yourself speaking lovingly to them, or even seeing a positive image of what you want for yourself moving forward. Visualization can put some clarity to an idea, giving birth to solutions and a change in mood, confidence, and esteem.
8. Remember how to play
Make time to be silly and to play! This is a MUST regardless of age. This can help you reconnect with your inner child and tap into that sense of joy, freedom, and creativity we had as children.
90’s kids, are you wondering why your favorite things (songs, snacks, clothing, etc) are from your childhood? ::insert smirk here:: DUH! We take ourselves too seriously in adulthood due to the constant pressures of life. Remind yourself to have fun and explore so all parts of the self can experience pleasure!
9. Meditate
Meditation is a great way to help us relax and reconnect with our inner child. Taking some time for yourself each day to be still and go within can be incredibly healing, helping you to be present with your feelings and develop emotional regulation skills.
According to research, it has been found that meditation could help in reducing stress, mitigating the impact of childhood trauma, and improving overall health outcomes during adulthood.
10. Talk to a therapist
Sometimes we need to talk to a professional. If you’re struggling with unresolved emotions, talking to someone can help you understand them and move forward in your healing journey.
A therapist can provide tools and techniques to help you connect with your inner child, identify triggers, and establish healthy boundaries.
Related: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth: A Guide For Women
Signs that you are healing your inner child
As you begin to heal your inner child, you will start to notice a few changes in yourself. Know that it can feel worse or get worse before it feels and gets better. This is NORMAL.
Here are some signs that your inner child work is paying off:
Increased self-awareness and emotional intelligence
As you begin to heal, you will become more aware of your emotions and be able to express them better. You may also find yourself being more compassionate and understanding towards yourself.
More joy in life
You may find that you are able to appreciate the little things a little bit more and even laugh a lot easier. You allow yourself to play and be spontaneous, and find yourself feeling more joy. This is evidenced by more laughter, more smiling, more of the stuff that feels awesome in your head and body!
Greater self-confidence
As you forgive yourself for the past, you become more confident in who you are as a person, releasing any self-doubt or fear that was previously holding you back from being your true self.
Recognize your own humanity and the inevitable making of mistakes as you navigate this weird world we live in. Since you’re just a human, you’ll see yourself as such and maybe stop beating yourself up.
Enhanced self-care practices
As your inner child heals, you may be more inclined to take care of yourself. This could include anything from getting enough sleep, drinking more water, eating healthier food and even taking time out for yourself.
Folks who work with me (Jaclyn) know that healthy selfishness is crucial to a life worth living. Practicing good self care tactics simply demonstrates self love, and it then becomes easier to love others.
You meet your inner child's needs
As you heal, you may find yourself being able to meet your inner child’s needs better. This could include things like taking time for play and creativity or seeking out new experiences that give you joy.
It can also look like listening to fear responses in the body- when your inner child needs safety and security, listen to that too. Meeting needs includes saying NO, leaving a scary situation, changing things in your environment to create comfort.
Improved relationships
You might also notice that the internal shifts have a positive effect on your relationships with others too. You may find yourself being able to express your needs and feelings more openly and authentically. Suddenly, conversations with coworkers, family and friends are moving smoother, less conflict, more fun.
You're able to set boundaries
As you heal, you may find yourself setting healthy boundaries with others. This could include standing up for yourself in difficult conversations or saying “no” when needed. Those in your life will learn also where you draw the line and treat you accordingly, making relationships more fulfilling and easy.
Final thoughts
If your physical, emotional, and/or spiritual needs were not fulfilled during your childhood, it could affect how you cope with difficult situations as an adult. However, it is possible to heal your inner child by practicing self-love and compassion and doing things that help you grow.
Take the first step towards healing today by booking a consultation with The Sassy Shrink. There are many effective therapies for trauma, and our team of experienced therapists will work with you to find the best path for your healing journey.
We can help you process unresolved childhood pain and learn skills to cope with difficult emotions. Let us help you take back your power and start living your best life. Book now!
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